How Ask a Girl To Be Your Girlfriend (Without Asking)

You’ve met a girl you like and want to date, how do you ask her to be your girlfriend?

…without it coming across as weird, or you coming across as needy?

I’ll tell you…

Here are the 2 different ways to ask a girl to be your girlfriend:


Method 1: Direct Approach

You could simply say to her, “I like you. I want you to be my girlfriend

Of course, this has to be after you guys have spent quite some time together and gotten to know each other.

I’ve done this before and it worked well, but I don’t recommend it.

You will see why.

By the way, don’t do any tacky nonsense like buy her flowers, etc, before you ask.

It’s not a marriage proposal.

Don’t do it over text also, as that is cowardly and portrays a lack of confidence.

If you’re going to ask her to be your girlfriend, then do it face-t0-face.


Method 2: The Assume Boyfriend Role Approach (Recommended)

Now, when I meet a girl I want to date, I don’t ask, I just assume the role of boyfriend, and begin doing “boyfriend” things.

I do this because women are the “nesters”.

They are the ones whose instinct it is to build a nest.

Girls are turned off by guys who want a relationship more than they do.

And it’s usually beta males that go seeking for relationships and “commitment” to tie down women who they consider out of their league.

Instead, you should make girls want to be your girlfriend first.

This way, she won’t act like she’s doing you a favour.

And there will also be no weirdness.


How to make a girl want to be your girlfriend (Without Asking):

1. Have sex with her first:

The most guaranteed way to know if you two are compatible or not is through sex.

If there’s no chemistry and the sex is lousy and so-so, then there’s no point in continuing to see each other.

Having sex with a girl also releases the bonding hormone, oxytocin.

And with her body flooded with oxytocin, she then wants to bond with you even more.

She’ll be the one bringing up relationship stuff.

She might start introducing you to people as her boyfriend.

Or she’ll bring up the “relationship talk” questions:

  • “What are we?”
  • “What are doing?”
  • “What do you want from me?”
  • “Where is this going?”
  • Etc.

When she brings these up, you can then tell her you want her to be your girlfriend.


2. Revel in your freedom:

It’s only exotic birds that people want to cage – not birds that are already looking for a cage.

It is only birds that want to fly away that people desire to contain.

Be an exotic bird, enjoy your freedom and revel in it.

When girls see that you’re having such a blast being single, then they want to become your girlfriend.

Funny isn’t it?

Don’t go chasing girls for relationships.


3. Spend lots of time with her:

Show her you enjoy spending time with her by actually enjoying spending time with her.

Nothing says, “I like you and want you to be my girlfriend” as much as treating her as one.


4. Let her invest in you:

Allow her to invest in your by doing you small favours.

If she wants to cook for you, let her.

Let her massage you, go shopping for you, etc.

Don’t stop her from doing things for you even if it will cost her money, or require a lot of effort for her to pull it off.

The more she does things for you, the more invested in the “relationship” she will feel.

…and the more she will feel like your girlfriend.

Also, the more she does you favours, the more she’ll like you – because of the Benjamin Franklin effect.


5. Be a good listener:

If you want a girl to feel like being your girlfriend, then being a good listener is a must.

Nothing makes a girl feel special and appreciated like being listened to.

We all feel we are the center of the universe, and nothing plays into this like actively listening to someone.

Benjamin Disraeli once said: “Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours”

Winston Churchill’s mother, Jennie Jerome, once sat next to a Mr Gladstone and then Benjamin Disraeli (both were Prime Ministers of the United Kingdom at different times) during a dinner event.

When asked about her experience of both men she replied: “When I left the dining room after sitting next to Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England. But when I sat next to Disraeli I left feeling that I was the cleverest woman.”

But it’s important to not let yourself become her emotional dumping ground.

If she brings up topics you don’t like – like her relationships with other guys, cut them off and steer her to other topics of conversation.


6. Go out to events as a couple:

Go out together as a couple.

Take her along to comedy shows, sports events, weddings, etc.

Most times when you go out at night, take her along with you.

In no time, she’ll bring up the relationship stuff herself.


So that’s it on how to ask a girl to be your girlfriend – without asking.

I hope you benefited from it.

Tell me what you think below.

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